Ants

I usually love ants, but now I hate them. My room is the cleanest one in the whole house and they're still in it! My mom says it's because of the heat. They're bored and looking for things to do. I just wish they weren't looking in my room.

DVD

Dead At You

This post is dedicated to Trisha.

First off let me start by saying I'm sorry and that I trust you. I know we've had a few fights--alright a lot of fights. But I want you to know that no matter how many fights we have I'll always care about you. Never tell yourself anything different. And don't cry about me. I'm nothing. Cry for yourself.

David--your friend for now and forever

Here We Go

Before I begin, let me slice this post up and tell you my side of this:

Too much stress lately. I've been working non-stop in school. No rest, really. Yes, I slept at somewhere 2:00 AM one time and then I woke back up at 6:00 AM which isn't a healthy thing. But don't get so worried about me, I'm not the naive type who gets sick so easily just because I lack too much sleep. And I won't post all about my school activities now, because I have to handle another matter at hand.

Now I'm worried about you.

This is all about David. I don't care if he reads this post or not, I just want to post it here. I own this blog and I do whatever I want to it. He doesn't believe me, he's starting to doubt about me. So what about it? After all, even if I tell the WHOLE Truth, he doesn't believe me. So what's the point there? I'm wasting my saliva.

No you're not. It's just that you've lied to me before and now I don't know what to believe.....

He wants to leave the oh-so fun AA? Then be it. Who cares if I will just cry? And I'm NOT acting, for sick people's sake!

I'm not leaving AA just because of you. No one can make me leave AA. I like it there.

And I'm not acting that I have oh-so 'mushy feelings' for him. So what? Is it wrong to have feelings? Probably so. So maybe I should stop having feelings for him. After all, if I really have feelings for him, then I'll probably just let him do whatever he wants. Your wish is granted now, David. Do whatever you want.

I want to be with you.....And I know you have feelings for me. And I want you to know that I really do care about you.

Nobody probably cares. Maybe it's just too late to confess now.. so I won't confess. If only he knew the stupid truth

Why don't you tell me the truth? Then I'll know it.

Lies

She lied to me. ME. The person that she claimed to have "feelings" for. Her pictures most likely don't have her in them. She acted all sad and afraid when I was thinking about leaving AA. Well I'm gonna do much worst than that. I'm staying on AA. I'm just not gonna talk to her until she tells me the truth. The truth, Trisha. You want to stay my friend, tell me the truth.

Oh!

I must have hurt Cherrie in some way. While on YM, I asked her to do me a favor. Turned out she already knew what I wanted. After telling me, she started talking about how she was a bad friend and how she shouldn't have told me. Then at the very end she said that I hated her.

I don't hate her! She's my friend. The only people I hate is my family. It's too complicated for me to explain. Well at least I now know what I wanted. And it was everything I'd hoped for! Now all I have to do is patch things up with Cherrie.

DVD

The Highlight of My Day

My friend and I are finally breaking the ice. I thought it was impossible, but I was wrong. Our friendship was built up from lies and secrets, but now we're finally beginning to trust one another. I love her so much......

DVD

What The?!?!

Things are getting weird. I've just realized that I don't get evil pride when I see or hear pain. Something else inside of me does! It calls itself Psy.

g2g

DVD

Phew!

It's possible that I was wrong. She's not going to end our friendship. I just hope this isn't some kind of sick joke. Now all I have to worry about is my braces.....DAMN!!

Ouch......

My pain is raging now. I love my friend, but she calls me a liar and says that I hate her. I want to tell her how I feel, but it always comes out wrong. I'm just an idiot. I can't even express myself to my friends. And now I'm about to lose her. No......NO! Not this time. I lost the other one like that.

Seems that I've already lost this one too, though. Too late to save it.....I've lost another friendship because of my own stupidity.

On top of this unbearable truth, my braces will stay on for another three to six months!

It's a New Day

Well this is great. Everything that's gone wrong is right. My life is finally going back to normal. I think I'll lay off some of my RPG's for a while later.

Sorry Trisha, but after our plots are finished, I'm going to take a break from AA. My characters will still be there, becuse I'll be coiming back. Please don't beg. For some reason it gives me evil pride to see you begging me to do something.

Money

Finally! Monday I get paid! This day's going great....ish.

DVD

My Lingering Problem

I've got a real problem now. To try to run from it is useless. Hiding from it is out of the question. I'm too far in this to try to escape the easy ways. There's no tweleve step program for this. To all that are reading this: Don't watch pornography. It fucks with your mind.

Life, Hope, Dreams.....

Where do they come from? And where do they go? Such meaningless things....Yet so...meaningful. Life sucks most of the time, but now I'm finally seeing how green the grass is on my side of the fence. I wish I could help my friend see that. But then again, I'm still looking over the fence.

DVD

P.S. This post has some reference to the final battle in Final Fantasy VI Advanced. (Kefca)

It's Time....

I know what I have to do. There's no time to think about this. I'm going to do this. No. Matter. What. I'm keeping my friends. I'm tired of being wierd. Now.....I'm gonna stop being so damn emotional. It's time to bottle these things back up.....until later. I've got three friends. And I plan on getting more.

DaViD

Damn Me!

This is bullshit. I can't believe I'm mistreating my best friend. It's not HER fault that I'll never make it in this world. It's not HER fault that I want to die. All that she ever did was try to befriend me.

And what tdo I do to thank her? Try to force her to do something she'd told me that she wouldn't. I'll never forgive myself for this. I can't believe I'm so selfish! I hope she can find it in herself to forgive me.....If she doesn't, I don't blame her.

Damn

Why is it that this always happens? First I meet someone that I think is my best friend. One big argument later, we're not talking to one another. I worry so much, yet I know I can't do anything about they're problems. Maybe I should just become mean.......Either that or a heartless bastard, like all the other guys.

Hiyas!

I FINALLY got my password right! Sorry for not posting in such a long time. Wow. New month, huh? I'm making some goals for myself:



1. Loose some wieght(Like 20 lbs)



2. Stop putting my heart into things I'm sure will fail(e.g.: relationships, etc.)



3. Finish my History classes.



Other than that, I'm good



DVD!

Sorry

Sorry, my loyal readers(if there are any) for not posting sooner. Many problems arose. But now I have a very big one on my hands:

My friend and I are "dating" again. That's good. What's bad is that I've gotten better at my favorite past-time: messing with people's heads. This morning I pretended to be a girl in an RPG. She, as well as a few other girls, took it way too seriously. Now We're not talking that much anymore and I feel as if we might stop being friends over this. I really hope it doesn't come to that. I don't have that many friends, and losing one will make it even less. I don't know what to do anymore. I've apologized to her, I even admitted that I was actually the girl, but I still feel like I should do more. So my question is: "What can I do to make this right?"

Pain

It hurts. What? you might ask. Family hurts. People hurt. I hurt. The pain will leave, but the scars will stay forever, reminding me that I am truly all alone in this world.

Why?

Why is it that whenever I go online my family knows how to tell time but when we're out, they don't? I hate my family more than anything else. I wish I could fly away, far beyond their stupidity.....

What a Great Day!

My friend's able to talk to me more now! I'm so happy! I missed her SOOOOOOOO much!

Also: I found this great mini game yesterday!

http://www.ebilgames.com/games/Deady/play.asp

DVD!

हे!

Hello all of my readers! If you could all do me a favor and click this link I'd be very grateful:
http://s1.bite-fight.us/c.php?uid=70170

Thankies in advance!

DVD

Headache of the Century

What a day! Another "easy" task. This time I had to carry a tree!(The whole thing! By myself!) It wieghed like 120lbs at least!

Nothing else really special. Bye!

My Problem Status: Closed

Okay. I did my experiment earlier than I thought. Turns out neither one of them see me as "dating material." But hey, that's all right with me. We're now all friends. Oh well. At least they're not mad.

My Problem Status: Pending

I've decided to take some advice from an old friend and talk to the other two sides of my love triangle. I'll do that tomorrow. I'll tell you how it goes. I'm pretty sure it'll be interesting! ^^

People

I hate people. Especially the ones that keep asking you the same question over and over.

"Are you gay?"

"NO!"

"ARE you gay?"

"NO!"

It gets on my nerves. Just because I don't act all tough and cruel, it doesn't mean I'm gay! Then when I tell them my age and problem they go:

"You're too young!"

Have they ever heard of the song "Young Love," by Chris Brown?!? Are they dumb enough to think I can't have this kind of problem?! I hate creeps like that!

Only two people have the patience to understand me:

One is just a friend.....The other is the girl I'm in love with.

Love Triangle

There are two girls I know and like - possibly LOVE. One I spend a lot of time with. The other - not so much. Here's the problem: I'm in LOVE with the one that doesn't spend a lot of time with me. I'm in LIKE with the one that does. An outside source told me I should let them both go. WHAT?!? I don't know which one I should choose. The one I like is there for me a lot of the time. The one I love is more like me. Please send comments and e-mails telling me: What Should I Do?

Day Two

Today I helped my mom change the oil in our lawn mower. She did all the changing. All I had to do was carry the 40 lb thing onto the porch! Real simple, right?

Why is love so complicated? I seem to be in love with a girl I've never even met. More on that tomorrow.

The Truth

I'm gonna be honest with you, the readers, I am huge. Not really all that big, just really tall. I'm almost 15 and I'm already 6' 1".

This is my first time blogging. I own a forum. Check it out: http://masoncorps.proboards80.com/index.cgi

I slept through most of today, so there's really nothing else to say. Don't worry, I won't do anymore of this crappy blogging. Bye!